Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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