I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
