come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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