Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
