Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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