Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
