He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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