Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
