yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
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