Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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