I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
