the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
