I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
