Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
