my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
