Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
