Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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