are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
