So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
