Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
