i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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