dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
