3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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