Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
