OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize