She's JV to your varsity
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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