The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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