I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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