if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't deserve a penis
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
