So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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