but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
