I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
