he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
