i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize