so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
