break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
