Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All I want is dick and wine.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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