he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She's the barista slut.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
