Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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