see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
