I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
