Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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