4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
its liver damage thursday
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