weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
