I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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