And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
