He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
