Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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