ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
