from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
