stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no you cant smoke seaweed
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
