Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
