Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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