we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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