The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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