Please, let me fuck your mom
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
where am i from again
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
