Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
