Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
