I'm drive I can fine osifer
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
