She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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