If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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