Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
