I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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