I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
