If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
