He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
BRING THE BAGELS
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize