Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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