I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
