Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize