She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize