im drinking this country out of the recession.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
barbara walters just said penis...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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