hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
