1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We are two peas in an std pod
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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